Yet again, following my yearly tradition, here’s a record of all the cities, towns, hamlets, or dots-on-a-map in which I’ve spent at least one night during 2016. New this year is an asterisk, noting multiple nights in each city. Here this year’s list:
If you’ve ever had kids (or have been a kid), and attended a Sunday morning worship service at a church, you know the struggles involved in placing a child into an age-old, but not necessarily age-appropriate environment. I took at stab at that sometimes-prickly subject over at my church’s blog in a two part series:
Part One: Why Take Our Kids to Worship
Wow, 2015 came and went with a post to be found. Alas, following my yearly tradition, here’s a record of all the cities, towns, hamlets, or dots-on-a-map in which I’ve spent at least one night during 2015:
My extremely gracious family at Occoquan Bible Church gave me the opportunity to preach the occasional Sunday sermon in 2015. Even more audacious is the fact that they recorded them.
Should you possess similar audacity, these can be listened to here.
Oh yeah, I have a blog! And lately, it’s been one post a year. Resolved to post more than once in 2015. Maybe even more than twice, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Thus, following my yearly tradition, here’s a record of all the cities, towns, hamlets, or dots-on-a-map in which I’ve spent at least one night during 2014:
Oops. It’s 2014 already. So, following my yearly tradition, here’s a record of all the cities, towns, hamlets, or dots-on-a-map in which I’ve spent at least one night during 2013:
My thoughts on the downfall of Lance Armstrong are up at The Gospel Coalition:
On a rainy May morning in 1996, I woke up early and drove to nearby Bristol, Virginia, to watch the start of a stage in a conspicuously branded professional bicycle race called the Tour DuPont. For a young East Tennessee amateur cyclist, this was about as close to the red carpet as I had ever been. There were a handful of famous European pros on hand, but I really wanted to get a glimpse of America’s next great hope—a scrappy young Texan named Lance Armstrong.
Following tradition, here’s a record of all the cities, towns, hamlets, or dots-on-a-map in which I’ve spent at least one night this year:
Lookout Mountain is an icon of the South. As a kid, en route to see my grandparents in Alabama, we’d circle the hump-backed juggernaut as we passed through Chattanooga. It’s lore was spread via one of the most innovative advertising campaigns in history — painted barns throughout the South emblazoned with “See Rock City,” a simple message that brought the Lookout Mountain tourist attraction to from obscurity to prominence in the twentieth century.
In the century of our present discussion, however, Lookout Mountain is the mountain in the 3 State 3 Mountain Challenge. The other climbs, while respectable, are merely warm-ups. Whether you’re at mile 13 or mile 32, mile 82 and Burkhalter Gap Road waits ever-so-patiently for its victims. The ride’s website describes it sparsely:
Lookout is by far the steepest – 2.3 miles at a 8-10% grade with a 18 – 20% grade at the top.
There is a rest station right before the climb. My family met me here, which was a bit of encouragement, since none of the other riders seemed to be talking about what was before them in great detail. Only a sense of doggedness was evident, with sparse tips here and there (save weight by not loading two full water bottles, as there’s another food station at the top). After too long procrastinating the inevitable, I mounted up and turned the corner to Burkhalter Gap Road.
Remember those old photos of the Alaskan Klondike Gold Rush? You know, the ones with prospectors lined up, single file, slogging up a mountain pass? Minus the snow, the view from the bottom was pretty similar. As I turned the corner and looked uphill, a line of slow-moving cyclists angled upward as far as I could see. The grade looked manageable as I rolled over the electronic timing mechanism that marked the showcase climb. However, it didn’t take long for my already weary legs to run out of gears.
On my compact gearing setup, 34×26 is as low as it goes. A quarter mile into the ride, I had bottomed out. The temperature was hovering around 90 degrees, and it became difficult to turn over the pedals even in my lowest gears.
Here’s where I wish I could tell you I fought the good fight and disregarded the burn in my legs and powered up the mountain on guts alone. I wish I could tell you that, but here’s what really happened: About a mile into the climb, I noticed a shady spot on the side of the road. My tumble into temptation began here. The mirage effect took hold. It was so hot, and that spot looked oh-so-shady. Just a one minute rest to get my heart rate — already near maximum — settled down. One minute, no problem. I paused for about 60 seconds.
The problem was, once I began the ascent again, it didn’t take but about 15 seconds for my heart rate to again max out and for the burning in my legs to ignite anew. About 1.5 miles into the climb, I paused again. After another quarter mile, I rested yet again. As I encountered several riders walking all the way from the halfway point in the climb, my hopes were fading — this mountain was tough. I have ridden similar climbs before and survived them, but this climb, at this stage in the course — had become a menace.
Just before the last insanely steep 300 meters, the grade levels out a bit — a tease before the mountain eats you alive. Once I reached the steepest upturn with 250 meters to go, I dismounted, knowing that the grade was too steep here get back on the bike and clip in. I was done. I joined the Klondike-like stream of walkers pushing their bikes up the right side of the road. A fellow rider who walked beside me commented, “I don’t think I could do this hill even if it wasn’t at mile 82.”
To our left, the heroes of the day powered up — all standing, and all zig-zagging up the slope with barely enough momentum to keep their bikes upright. I looked over with admiration at those who summited beneath the red archway with grunts, pains, and gasps. There was no shame on my part at the time. After all, I had done all that I could do. The haunting would come later.
No one lingered long at the rest station atop Burkhalter Gap — there were still 18 miles to go. At the top of a mountain, one would think they’d be easy miles, but at that stage, nothing was easy. It’s that point in a monumental effort when quitting is out of the question, but continuing cuts you to the core.
The long, gradual climb up Lula Lake Road was just long enough to be disheartening, when I encountered two twelve year-old boys on the side of the road clapping and yelling encouragement, calling out riders by number (who says there’s no hope for America’s youth?).
When it became apparent that there was nowhere else to climb, the police officer holding traffic shouted enthusiastically to the small, disheveled group of riders I had joined, “It’s all downhill from here, boys.” Music to my ears.
The 5-mile descent down the scenic Lookout Mountain highway is harrowing. Fast downhills are tedious enough, but with constant switchbacks with tourists crossing the road, it was no time for a weary cyclist to be groggy. I “saw Ruby Falls” in the blink of an eye. Make no mistake, it was fun, but I’m often just as relieved (in a different way) to reach the bottom of a mountain as I am the top.
Immediately upon reaching the base of the mountain, I was back in downtown Chattanooga, and the two miles back to the finish at the stadium were largely ceremonial. Just like the rest of the preceding 100 miles, all intersections were manned with cheerful volunteers. An immense sense of relief came over me as I rolled into the stadium parking lot to the finish line where bounteous refreshment awaited.
A short two hours later I would be asleep after simply just stretching out “for a moment.” I slept well that night, but it wasn’t long until that last stretch of Burkhalter Gap Road began to haunt my dreams.
As I write this, I’m staring at an event decal on my desk from the 3S3M. It was given out to finishers of the century course, and reads “I Conquered The Gap, May 5th, 2012.” However much I actually conquered, I know well that on that day, the Gap conquered me. I also know that in 2013, Lord willing, the Gap will be put in its proper place. Stay tuned…
The showers drenched, but didn’t dally. By the time I made the turn onto the rough rural roads of northern Alabama, the rain had ceased and a steamy vapor began to rise from the pavement. Aside from the bad roads, there was little clue save for a sparse state road marker that I was actually in Alabama, but the Sand Mountain climb soon gave all the verification I needed.
The climb, up what is apparently known as the “goat path,” is wooded with switchbacks and is not too steep, but long enough to make you use your lower gears (the website’s promised “2.5 miles at a 6-7% average grade” is about right).
It was still early enough for the field to still be pretty crowded, and the roads were wet, it was a fun climb. I began to see, however, that my fellow riders were no novices when it came to climbing. I did my best to make a good show to the top, but having two mountains down and only one to go offered little comfort. Though still 50 miles away and out of sight, Lookout Mountain’s Burkhalter Gap still loomed large.
Geographically, Sand Mountain seems more like a large plateau. Once on top, the course went on for miles and endless miles of rollers and flats. Two rest stations at around 34 and 55 miles broke the monotony a bit, but large stretches of long, straight roads where you could see cyclists for miles both forward and backward nearly made monotony a mountain of its own.
As I pushed through those desolate miles, a couple of guys in a paceline (with powermeters!) took pity upon me and invited me to join in with them. I took a few pulls on front and rotated through for about 15 miles until we joined with a larger group and the pace ramped up. Too blistering blistering for me, I was dropped, and dogged out the rest of the rolling plateau on my own.
As we neared the descent of Sand Mountain, we crossed into Georgia and began to see some stunning views from the mountaintop into the valley below. Also coming into view was Lookout Mountain, just across the way, waiting patiently.
Finally, Sand Mountain had come to an end — the only place left to go was down. The descent was fast and furious, but not fatally so — despite the ominous rescue vehicles parked at couple of the switchbacks. Once at the bottom two roads diverged in a wood. Would I take the one less traveled on, leading me back to the finish via the 90-mile route? Or would I turn right with most everyone else and face the suffering that awaited me on the legendary climb up Lookout Mountain?
TruePravda is Jared Bridges' eclectic hive of commentary & general mischief.
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