~ 11 March 2005 ~

Keanu Reeves Translation Contest

In the comments section, leave your translation of Keanu Reeves’ unitelligible statement in a recent interview regarding his new movie Constantine:

Q: What are your notions of heaven and hell, eternal damnation vs. eternal bliss?

Reeves: Well, I hope I get the bliss. And I know I’m going to have to work for it. But I’ve got to say, really, I have no kind of, can I say “secular religiosity”? … I don’t have a denominational sight. I think, like in the stories that we tell, there is an aspect of the living life informing where we go. A transfiguration, there must be. Energy can’t be created or destroyed, and energy flows. It must be in a direction, with some kind of internal, emotive, spiritual direction. It must have some effect somewhere. … I do think there must be some kind of interaction between your living life and the life that goes on from here.

If you have any earthly idea what our boy Keanu is saying here, please enlighten the rest of the internet. The winner will be announced on the Ides of March and will be awarded the accolade of Interpretus Extraordinarius.

UPDATE: The time for judgment has arrived—see comments below for the winner.

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6 Comments:

  1. Jeremy » 11 March 2005:

    It is all so simple. The so-called afterlife, or religiously inspired eternal hopefulness, is the result of the conflict between the influx of negatively distributed energy and the decline of quasi-relational positive karma, or inductive joy. Therefore, our life force and our living living life coincide to form a complete sphere of individuality. I think if you combine the metaphysics of “The Matrix” and the theology of “The Devil’s Advocate”, with the excitement of “Speed,” you have a potential afterlife.

  2. hatless in hattiesburg » 13 March 2005:

    man, it’s all like, whoa, dude! ‘n stuff, ya know?

    😉

  3. Colby » 14 March 2005:

    One has only to parse the words in question and analyze the syntax to come up with a simple, straightforward exposition of Reeves’ explanation:

    **He really doesn’t know.**

  4. Adeodatus » 14 March 2005:

    More likely, he has somehow managed to internalize the program which generates such profound sentiments (http://www.elsewhere.org/cgi-bin/postmodern/)

    Are we meant to actually appropriate such spiritual ideas? Would that not place our power-structured narrative atop this man’s personal construction of spiritual truth? At the end of the day, can we say more than Hatless suggests: “Woah.”

  5. Jared Bridges » 15 March 2005:

    And the winner is…

    In the spirit of Keanu comprehension, I have hidden the name of the winner in the paragraph below:

    I think, like in the stories that we tell, there is an aspect of the living life informing where we go. A transfiguration, there must be for Adeodatus. Jeremy can’t be created or destroyed, and energy flows. It must be in a direction, with some kind of internal, hatless, spiritual direction. Colby must have some effect somewhere.

  6. Colby » 16 March 2005:

    So did I win?

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