~ 13 June 2006 ~

Finger-lickin’ Lawsuits

When it comes to the corruption of America’s judicial system, activist judges play a large part, but they certainly don’t have the market cornered. Take, for example, the news of the lawsuit brought against Kentucky Fried Chicken. Dr. Arthur Hoyte, along with The Center for Science in the Public Interest, is suing the fast-food chicken magnate because it uses trans fat in its cooking oil.

Apparently Hoyt and company were under the impression that gorging oneself on the Colonel’s blend of 11 herbs and spices was a healthy endeavor:

Hoyte said he is suing to force KFC to change its cooking practices “for my son and others’ kids, so they may have a healthier, happier, trans-fat-free future.”

“If I had known that KFC uses an unnatural frying oil, and that their food was so high in trans fat, I would have reconsidered my choices,” Hoyte said.

Perhaps Colonel Sanders had his cane to their heads, but it’s unlikely that they were forced to buy their fried chicken at KFC. If a lawsuit like this wins, the entire Southern United States is in danger of litigation for occasionally serving food with more flavor than a sheet of cardboard.

Therefore, in order to save our governments money on court fees in the future, I’m compiling a list of potential dangers for those of you whose thinking might be a little “extra crispy.” Write these down, and burn them into your memory, and they may even save your life:

  • Fried chicken is good, but not good for you.
  • Coffee is very HOT! when served.
  • Manhole covers are not to be stepped upon.
  • Eating the pancakes and ice cream combo at IHOP is generally not a good idea.
  • Red meat can make you obese, but only if you eat it.
  • Knives are sharp, and have been known to cut.
  • Last but not least, do not eat silica gel!

I’m sure I’m missing something here, so feel free to add to the list.

Posted by Jared Bridges | | Print This Print This

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1 Comments:

  1. Norma » 18 June 2006:

    This organization is pretty small, and not too scientific. Hoax and scam are two four letter words that come to mind, and that’s where to attack them. Logic won’t work.

    When I was a vet librarain I used to track the board members (and their big salaries) of the various animal rights groups, and although I don’t do that now, I’m guessing you’ll find some cross listings with these guys.

    It’s not about improving our health–but about destroying our decadent western culture. And, of course, follow the money.

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