It’s been going around the Facebook like wildfire, and even the inoculated among us are not immune. So, here’s my humble contribution to the meme:
1. I don’t believe in randomness. The irony in selecting 25 “random” things about oneself is thicker than Karo syrup, which is my favorite.
2. I grew up about 10 miles from a NASCAR racetrack, but I’ve never been to a race. I once won a pair of tickets, but sold the set for $35, which at the time I thought was a king’s ransom.
3. My undergraduate major was Advertising, and I once shared a Calculus class with Peyton Manning. Who would have thought that he would have gone on to become such a great advertiser…
4. When I was in first grade, I got only one answer on a math test incorrect. I left this problem blank: 1-1=__. I was always told zero is nothing, so I left it blank.
5. I tend to keep my eyes open when I pray. This goes back to childhood, when I thought that the reason people closed their eyes when they prayed in church was because God descended from heaven and walked the aisles. I often tried to sneak a peek.
6. I have on occasion added “Pig Latin” to the repertoire of languages on my resume.
7. I’ve never been offered an interview from any of the aforementioned resumes. Arrow-nay inded-may were those prospective employers.
8. Every day, I get into cars with strangers to ride 25 miles to work (this is true!). So far I haven’t been abducted. If you’re reading this and I have been abducted, disregard the previous sentence and call the police already.
9. Quite the romantic, I proposed to my wife as we were sitting on a downed telephone pole. She didn’t see it coming.
10. Once in high school, some friends and I were chased by a sheriff in a Crown Vic., blue lights ablaze. We got away. I guess that means I’m still on the lam?
11. My favorite word is “seldom.” It’s fun to say, but I rarely use it.
12. My favorite weather phenomenon is fog. The reasons behind this are cloudy.
13. I try to always know more than I let on, but most of the time the converse is true.
14. Laden with a loaded internal frame backpack, I once tried to leap aboard a moving train while chasing it across an iced platform. I was roundly tackled by a member of the Belarusian militia who proceeded to question my sanity in no uncertain terms.
15. I’m married to a Kentucky Wildcat who some would say is my complete opposite. I like to say we’re complementary.
16. From Kindergarten through 12th grade, I only got in trouble at school one time. In first grade I had to sit out ten minutes in recess for talking. That’s it. No paddlings (they did that at school back then!), no themes, no suspension, nothing. Doesn’t mean I was always good. Just means I didn’t get caught.
17. A life-changing encounter with Jesus of Nazareth spoiled any dreams I had of becoming a world-class con artist (although I did want to be a lawyer for a little while…).
18. I’ve run a mile in under five minutes only one time.
19. My son is frighteningly smart, and watching him and my daughter grow leaves me in awe much of the time. My wife thinks that my daughter has me “wrapped.” She’s right, of course, but I can still pretend otherwise…
20. My favorite movies these days tend to be older ones. Hollywood has lost the art of storytelling in exchange for gimmickry.
21. My favorite novel is Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov. I read it ten years ago, and it took me six months to read. It still haunts me to this day, and I plan on re-reading it this year to see what effect a decade of pondering can have on the book.
22. I cannot sleep unless I am lying down. I’ve never slept in a moving automobile or on an airplane. On one long, multi-day international travel disaster, this unique characteristic caused me to stay awake for 54 hours until I had a place to lie down.
23. I mourn the passing of a good T-shirt, pair of underwear, or pair of jeans. My wife rejoices at the passing of such items (of mine), and I suspect she often contributes to their passing…
24. It took over a decade of playing, and countless games, but I finally beat my Dad at chess last year.
25. Mayonnaise is a condiment best left unserved.