Now that the dust has settled an inch thick on the 2004 U.S. presidential elections, it’s never too soon to be looking to 2008. Democrat hopefuls like Hillary Clinton are busy polishing their image and exploratory committees. Republicans are trying to sorting out just who can follow in W’s footsteps. Pundits everywhere are forecasting like mad.
Some candidates for 2008 have sidestepped all the speculative hoopla by registering early with the FEC. Take Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey, for example. His early registration lists him as an independent associated with the The VWP Party (Vampyres [sic], Witches, and Pagans). Sharkey, also known as “The Dark Count,” has also thrown in his hat for the 2006 Minnesota Governor’s race. Among his qualifications:
He is a Hecate Witch, as well as a Satanic/Sanguinarian Vampyre….He was recently Ordained as a Dark Priest, and is studying to become a Hecate High Priest.
…Jonathon’s first “Spell” ever, was a “Death Curse.” Though Jonathon is very pleasant to be around, he is a follower of the “Dark Side” of “The Craft.” His powers and abilities are unmatched!
I know what you’re thinking — that Sen. Clinton’s CV is strikingly similar. I assure you, however, that “The Impaler” seems above (or should I say, below) plagiarism.