Also-ran for president: Jack Grimes

2008 contender Jack Grimes

If you prefer a little more emperor in your 2008 presidential candidates, then Jack Grimes is your man.

Grimes, who is the United Fascist Union’s candidate for ’08, lists as one of his priority issues to “establish a global government, similar to the Roman Empire built upon an Axis of economic trade to raise the standard of living everywhere on the planet.”

Oh yes, there does exist a United Fascist Union. It’s unclear the size of the Union’s membership, but it is clear that they employ stealth methods to hide their numbers. Why else would the group’s website URL [] be so cryptically pedestrian?

When choosing his political heroes, Grimes doesn’t pick from the standard lot of Lincoln, Jefferson, and Washington. A candidate who wants to win must choose his heroes from history’s winners — that’s why Grimes looks to none other than Benito Mussolini and Sadaam Hussein as role models.

He claims to admire Mussolini because:

…he created an entirely new form of socialism that could bring about economic equality and create social justice for all men.

For Grimes, Hussein holds the key to America’s economic success:

We would like to restructure the American economy, bridging the gap between classes by instituting a form of socialism called Corporate Statism. Take America off of a metallic standard establishing instead a Work Point Standard like Mussolini did in Italy. We also favor abolishing paper money & the creation of a system of electronic credit & debit revolving around Transferable Work Point Cards.It is vital that we revive America’s heavy industry. The United Fascist Union could acheive this objective by replicating what Mussolini & Hussein have already achieved respectively in Italy & Iraq.

Take a successful model and build upon it — that’s the Grimes way. After all, he’s the only candidate to have portrayed Adolf Hitler on Star Trek. What more qualifications could the President of the United States need?

Will Grimes’ trains be running on time in November? Only time will tell.

[This post is fourth in a series on the other 2008 presidential candidates called “Parade of the also-rans.” See the whole series here.]

6 thoughts on “Also-ran for president: Jack Grimes”

  1. To the Editor: “Electric Companies Shaft the Public” Electric is an elastic commodity, the higher the prices go, the less people will use it. Since customers were cutting back on the use of electricity by getting energy saving light bulbs, etc., the electric companies were losing money. Consequently, the electric companies invented multipliers, which are a mathematical concept companies use to take advantage of the customer. These multipliers are used at the option of electric companies, so that when the customers are not using enough electric to produce the desired profit margin, they can simply raise the multipliers, and get their money through this method. The multipliers are so high now that even people who use almost no electricity are saddled with a huge bill. Even worse, the pubic utilities’ commissions have been no help to the public whatsoever. We might point out to readers that traditionally in Fascist nations utilities have been provided at cost or given freely, as they’re PUBLIC. The United Fascist Union proposes that the electric companies’ monopolies be broken, and that public electric companies be created that would charge the public for the electric they actually use; instead of letting some fat-belly private profiteers’ live the high life at the public’s expense. The U. F. U. would revamp the system and make sure the Public Service Commissions of various Provinces work in the public’s interest instead of working crooked deals behind the scenes, with Executives of corrupt monopolies allowing them to exploit consumers. Vote Fascist 2008! Elect Jack Grimes U. S. President in 2008! Mr. J. Grimes, Director & CEO of the United Fascist Union


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    Dear Editor;
    This is a letter about my friend, Jackson Grimes, who has been trying to move to Canada or England since he lost the 2004 election to that gutter rat Bush, too he fears the government will stage another hoax like the terror trick in September 2001 to suspend the election. In which case Mr. Grimes would waste his life in a country, with no chance of ever jumping into the political arena. Now, due to something he read in USA Today Friday, he’s waivering as to whether he should try Canada again in May as he planned.
    As a serious man Mr. Grimes took something he read Ben Franklin said to heart, “it doesn’t matter so much whether we do great good or great evil with our lives as long as what we do is great”. Now to someone of his nature the thought of wasting an incarnation with a mediocre life is intolerable. He seems to feel America with it’s mounds of legislation and laws is a trap designed to stunt free thinkers and hinder mankinds spiritual developement. 0ften in his public statements Mr. Grimes has rightly said, “EACH PROCEEDEING GENERATION HAS LESS THAN THE ONE BEFORE IT DID”.
    In FASCISM there’s hope for humanity to evolve beyond the seething clawing huddled masses we’ve become today. Il Duce, said he designed FASCISM TO BE THE GREAT EQUALIZER BRIDGING THE GULF BETWEEN CLASSES. Now never before in the history of this has there been such a gulf between extreme wealth on one side and extreme poverty on the other hand. Barring the election of a third party candidate, like Jackson Grimes, we have mainsteam millonaires like McCain and Clinton, which is no choice at all. But, if we make the UNITED FASCIST UNION the organ of state now, we can build a new America where sex, race, religion and class are meaningless and generations of men and woman yet unborn will thank our generation for the wonder of FASCISM forever.
    Hail Grimes!
    Vote Fascist 2008!
    Heather Goldsmith
    Head Secretary
    of the United Fascist Union

  3. State of the World Candidates meet
    Tribulations of 3rd Parties in the USA:
    With an ante-script on Fascism

    This is the 3rd time I’ve ran for U.S. President, each time presents new challenges as unique situations confront candidates. They say we live and learn, if this is so, then as the United Fascist Union candidate for President, I’ve discovered how hard it is for fringe parties to field candidates. It doesn’t seem it should be this difficult to get on the ballot as a candidate or get new parties recognized in a democratic country. A big part of it is cost. You’ve heard of running on a shoestring, well I often feel I’ve got a shoe without a string. A harsh reality in the Western nations is that because of the capitalist economic system everything revolves around money.

    This is fine for millionaires like Clinton, and McCain, who not only have personal fortunes in reserve to call on but, also support from the industrial sector at their disposal. At the same time, this dependency on campaign financing, is one of the chief aspects that prevents that prevents candidates from representing factions that are not so well-funded from gaining ballot status and establishing the parties they represent as legal entities. Whether it is intentional or not, this dependency on large amounts of money prevents the average man from active participation in the political process. This then stops true democratic interaction from occurring between the masses and the organ of state.

    But a lack of funds isn’t the only aspect holding minor-party candidates down and preventing their parties from achieving national recognition. An even bigger problem may be the way they’ve designed the political arena in America. They tell us on the one hand, America promotes and protects free speech, and then on the other hand, the powers that be say they won’t allow 3rd party candidates in the national presidential debate as they don’t have a realistic chance of winning. Now, I ask you how are candidates nobody knows are running supposed to have a realistic chance of winning?

    When we renewed the United Fascist Union of Luzerne County’s charter in 1996 amended after I accepted the leadership, the lawyer doing our paperwork informed us we could incorporate as a religious association, a social club or a union. Inquiring as to the reason for this he told us, there’s no provision for incorporating new political parties in Pennsylvania. Querying further he informed us, there was nothing we could do to alter the situation short of changing the state constitution.

    This inspired us to dig through forgotten tomes and dusty archives in a quest for the alleged freedoms the propagandists of the old Republic claim Americans are supposed to have. We discovered these freedoms, especially when applied to political parties, are largely mythical. Many objections were raised after the USA Patriot Act went into effect; critics claimed it threatened the republican foundation upon which America was founded. Few people recall their have been other pieces of legislation passed that could be viewed as even more objectionable, Ronald Reagan’s Rex 84 protocol and the Smith Act.

    Drawing for personal experience we gathered enough signatures in 2000′ to get a ballot listing in Indiana but, they denied us this privilege by citing an obscure provincial law declaring the United Fascist Union an un-American association because of Benito Mussolini’s involvement with the Axis powers during World War Two. These are just a few examples to illustrate some obstacles 3rd parties face in modern America. Indeed there are many more but, as always, time is a mitigating factor.

    I read somewhere once that in the high echelons of government Germany’s top brass realized they had lost the war in 1942. However, despite the hopelessness of their cause, the German government forced their men of arms to fight on without any hope of winning. This was done because the National Socialist Party didn’t want to risk lifting “The War Time Emergency Powers Act”, call a general election and, risk losing power to another faction having led the nation in a disastrous war. So you see, the SYSTEM never wants to quit being the system regardless of whether another faction would provide better government or not.

    There is no doubt in my mind at all corporate statism could provide our country with a better economic foundation than can the lasses-faire capitalist elite who are running the show now. Fascism has always brought peace, plenty, and prosperity to any land fortunate enough to have a fascist government. Benito Mussolini said, he designed Corporate Statism to bridge the gulf between the classes and raise the general standard-of-living by creating economic equality. Corporate Statism is the only modern economic system that’s proven it works in country after country every time.

    As the spokesman for the United Fascist Union I’ve discovered one of our biggest problems is straightening out the public’s view of what fascism is. You can blame the public school system in America, at least in part, for the way the masses are. When I was a boy we read from an American History textbook that devoted two pages to World War One, and three or four to World War Two. Now what pray tell is one supposed to learn from such a book?

    Politics is important; as it’s through the political arena the powers that be control all our lives. Make no mistake about it friends, whether through e-tests on our cars or zoning laws, local and national governments manage our lives for us. So, if you are to regain control of your life it’s important you know how governments work. Also, understand that the people in power count on you being ignorant of the art of politics to control you.

    Politics comes from the word “POLICY”, implying to make policies for public welfare. Theoretically, they should be policies in conjunction with popular will for the general good of the community as a whole. So, the only reason to be involved with politics is to help people live better lives. The State, theoretically anyway, should provide citizens with freedom under the law. This under the law seems to be the tricky bit, because of the flaw in the basic nature of men. Those in power seem to want more power at the expense of those who can’t fight back. It was this basic dynamic Benito Mussolini hoped to defeat when he outlined CORPORATE STATISM.

    The gnosis of fascism is the theory of the organic state, whose subjects are component parts of the greater whole. The state becomes a life form unto itself endowed with a life force gathered from the vital will of the nationality residing in it. Happy, healthy citizens content in their culture, working within the established paradigm of the country transfer wellness and health to the body politic which in turn, provides good government for the people of their realm.

    A nation with mounds of pointless legislation like e-tests for motor cars and seat belt regulations designed purely to control the common peoples action and bridle personal property, is a sick country populated by a diseased or a despisable people. The Gods know what Benito Mussolini would make of America were he alive today, with its legal drinking age, and laws prohibiting minors from buying beer. He would probably compare it to a zoo, where a caged animal rips out its own fur to combat the boredom of confinement.

    One thing we must be aware of regarding fascism is, it’s a left-wing ideology, it’s core being Corporate Statism. Corporate Statism is a radical form of socialism designed to be the great equalizer bridging the gap between the classes. The founders of our sect were wise enough to realize you can talk all you want about racial equality, religious equality or sexual equality, yet none of it’s worth a tinkers-damn unless you’ve achieved ECONOMIC EQUALITY first.

    In a fascist nation-state the federal government works to make a profit for the masses instead of using them for gain as is common in a capitalist system. It can do this because in a fascist country the government is run like a corporation, to make a profit for the general welfare of the entire country, instead of special interest groups as democratic governments do. So, a fascist economy is the only system that constantly pays the people like a corporation does its shareholders.

    A government that actually gives something back to the masses in an attempt to improve the quality of life is better than one that continually takes and leaves the public with nothing. Therefore, with fascism we can transform the federal government from an entity that serves special interest groups to one that serves You. Doesn’t that sound better than being a patsy for a parasite that uses you as voting cattle to make a greedy elite richer?

    We believe using fascism as a tool we can usher in a new golden age of peace, plenty, and prosperity that will turn the planet earth into a paradise.

    Mr. J. Grimes
    City of Wilkes-Barre
    In the Province of Pennsylvania;
    on the 4th day in the month of May
    Year of our Lord Two Thousand and Eight

  4. To the Editor:

    Men have developed various systems of statecraft since the dawn of civilization, when people first dammed the Euphraties & formed a tribal community. These formulas for government ranged from a rule by “a Council” collective body of men, to the rule of a “Monarch”, ruling family backed by a landed gentry. Also there were the elightened Greeks who gave the world TRUE “republicanism”, popular rule by all the city’s citizens. As well as the MILITARY rulers resembling a modern day dictator.

    The “city-state” first developed in The Land 0f Ur after the “Atlanean migration” to the Near East. This came about as people redicovered, after the deluge, the need to practice collectivism. NEBUCHADNEZZAR became the worlds first real King, as we commonly use the word today. As men developed the concept of the “nation-state”, they made inovations to the sciences of government. In some countries “democracy” took root, similar to the abomination now plaguing -and killing- this once great country of ours, while other nations developed a superior form of government the “Military Dictatorship System” of government.

    In a dictatorship system a strong man supported by the police & law enforcement manages the land according to thte publics TRUE WILL. THe United Fascist Union endorses the DICTATOR SYSTEM rather than the liberal democracies plaguing the West today, thinking it is superior to democracy. The Dictator State improves the quality of life, creates economic equality with social justice and is more representative of the masses wishes than democracy.

    By contrast the Fascist Union likens what passes for democracy in the West today to a form of a political HIV, any nation infected with it will surely die from the disease. We see how in America, the capitalist elite zap the masses of vital energy like a film vampire drain his victim of blood then leaves them to die. The stark contrast between haves and have nots has never been so great as under the reign of baby Bush and cabal his parasitic oil barons.

    The United Fascist Union believes we can not only cure America of this political aids with a health giving Dictator State but, we can carry the System of Dictators to other countries, using it as a political ATZ to cure the world of the political parasite democracy, then unite all mankind, regardless of race, colour or creed as equals & brothers under the Earth Government of the Fascist Dictatorship which will usher in a new golden age of planetary peace, plenty and prosperity for all mankind regardless of race, color, creed or point of national origin.

    VOTE FASCIST 2008!!!!

    Mr. J. Grimes
    Presidential candidate
    of the United Fascist Union

  5. Ladies and gentlemen please stand for the playing of 0′ Canada. When our leader enters the auditorium salute him with the hook-horns salute and say Hail Grimes.

    Jackson Grimes & the U F U of Canada Ltd.

    The Proverb of the Penny

    Look at the bright, shiny penny; on one side is a maple leaf; on the other side, the head of the British sovereign. This is one object, anyone whose ever carried change in his pocket knows this. Yet, if a man from Mars landed on earth, and he were to see the heads side of a penny lying on the ground, after leaving believe he has seen two objects instead of one. Unless Martians have a coin comparable to the penny, that is. The same rules apply to the election in America. The Democrats and Republicans were in fact, one party once upon a time, just like America and Canada were one country, under the crown until the rebellion of the lower 13 colonies, then the War of 1812 changed all that. In fact, I think in the case of the Democrats and Republicans, they still are one party, and the American elections are a horse and pony show to entertain the masses, and keep the illusion of democracy alive in that USA. Living with the delusions is dangerous. It surprises me that Canadians ask, If I think McCain or Obama will win?, and what will it matter if either one of these characters does manage to win.

    Now, if our friend from Mars realized the penny wasn’t fixed to the ground, and he picked it up in his hand, turned it and examined it he would understand it was one object, and what he thought was an optical illusion caused by ignorance. But suppose something happened, and our visitor from outer-space could not retrieve the coin– somebody cemented it into the sidewalk or tossed it in a fish pond on a lark– then it would become more difficult for him to discover the truth. Apply the same logic to the political arena, you will soon see that what the Americans call an election is nothing more than a carnival game of peas and shells dressed up as political choice used to fulfill the masterminds’ protocols of global government. It’s not the politician that matters, but the agenda, which is why the damn democrats, and rotten republicans strictly maintain their monopoly on the political arena south of the border. Via this monopoly, they control public thought, preventing other political philosophies from cropping up. The capitalist parasites who rule the USA know that if a wholesome economic ideology like Benito Mussolini’s fascism were to catch on, their jig would be up with their crooked shell game. The men and women who run as mainstream candidates are carbon copies of one another; it’s the agenda, not the face, which matters. The ONLY hope the Americans have lies in creating new political movements, not in McCain or Obama.

    This is the 3rd time I have run for U. S. President on the United Fascist Union ticket. Each time it gets harder and harder. There are less contributions, less attention, less interest, and less votes. You would think with a dynamic concept like fascism the reverse would be the case. Logic would dictate it should be increasing with each election instead of decreasing. We are of the opinion various third parties were allowed to enter the 2000’ Presidential race as a test, and to add to the system’s optical illusion of democratic choice. The system quickly realized this was a mistake, as many parties like the UFU placed high, and were perceived as a threat to the powers that be.

    This may be a pivotal election for 3rd parties like the United Fascist Union because if we do not break the monopoly the democrats, and republicans have on the political arena this time around they probably will not allow us to field candidates in 2012. There is most likely very little point in doing so even if the powers that be permit minor factions to run again anyway, as these kooky candidates are hopelessly degrading these elections. Therefore, it becomes vital that we turn the 2008’ election around, and put a fascist in the White House now, for the sake of both America, and Canada. The masses have to learn that in spite of two sides, the coin seeming to be two things, it’s an optical illusion as long as the western nations fall for the democracy hoax, nothing is ever going to change in America, Canada, or mother England, except for the worst, so FASCISM is your only logical, reasonable hope in 2008.

    Mr. J. Grimes

    Presidential Candidate of the United Fascist Union

    on the July the 4th day of

    , in the year of our Lord 2008

    in the City of Halifax

    , the Province of Nova Scotia

    in the Nation-State of Canada

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