If you prefer a little more emperor in your 2008 presidential candidates, then Jack Grimes is your man.
Grimes, who is the United Fascist Union’s candidate for ’08, lists as one of his priority issues to “establish a global government, similar to the Roman Empire built upon an Axis of economic trade to raise the standard of living everywhere on the planet.”
Oh yes, there does exist a United Fascist Union. It’s unclear the size of the Union’s membership, but it is clear that they employ stealth methods to hide their numbers. Why else would the group’s website URL [http://joanne21921.tripod.com] be so cryptically pedestrian?
When choosing his political heroes, Grimes doesn’t pick from the standard lot of Lincoln, Jefferson, and Washington. A candidate who wants to win must choose his heroes from history’s winners — that’s why Grimes looks to none other than Benito Mussolini and Sadaam Hussein as role models.
He claims to admire Mussolini because:
…he created an entirely new form of socialism that could bring about economic equality and create social justice for all men.
For Grimes, Hussein holds the key to America’s economic success:
We would like to restructure the American economy, bridging the gap between classes by instituting a form of socialism called Corporate Statism. Take America off of a metallic standard establishing instead a Work Point Standard like Mussolini did in Italy. We also favor abolishing paper money & the creation of a system of electronic credit & debit revolving around Transferable Work Point Cards.It is vital that we revive America’s heavy industry. The United Fascist Union could acheive this objective by replicating what Mussolini & Hussein have already achieved respectively in Italy & Iraq.
Take a successful model and build upon it — that’s the Grimes way. After all, he’s the only candidate to have portrayed Adolf Hitler on Star Trek. What more qualifications could the President of the United States need?
Will Grimes’ trains be running on time in November? Only time will tell.
[This post is fourth in a series on the other 2008 presidential candidates called “Parade of the also-rans.” See the whole series here.]